| Jokes and funny stories. A page full of KIDS. (almost) |
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| Lesson in photography : Using flash. |
| The first picture was taken without flash. |
| Compare it to the second picture which was taken with flash. |
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| Tequila® |
| Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.
Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.
Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.
Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila®.
Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.
Tequila®.... Leave Shyness Behind!!!!
Say hello to your new world....free from shyness!! |
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| Little Johnny |
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Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you doing your math sums on the floor? |
| Little Johnny: You told me to do it without using tables! |
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| Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water? |
| Little Johnny: "HIJKLMNO"!! |
| Teacher: What are you talking about? |
| Little Johnny: Yesterday you said it's H to O! |
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| Teacher: Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America. |
| Little Johnny: Here it is! |
| Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America ? |
| Class: Little Johnny! |
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| Little Johnny: Dad, can you write in the dark? |
| FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write? |
| Little Johnny: Your name on this report card. |
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| Teacher: Little Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I". |
| Little Johnny: I is... |
| Teacher: No, Little Johnny. Always say, "I am." |
| Little Johnny: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." |
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Teacher: Now, Little Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? |
| Little Johnny: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook. |
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| Teacher: Little Johnny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? |
| Little Johnny: No, Teacher, it's the same dog! |
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| Kids - They come out with some funny stuff. |
Never trust a dog to watch your food. * Patrick, age 10
When your mum is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. * Taylia, 10
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac. * Andrew, 9
Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. * Kyoyo, 9
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. * Armir, 9
Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. * Kellie, 11
If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. * Naomi, 15
Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. * Lauren, 9
Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. * Joel,10
If you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mum when she's on the phone. * Alyesha, 13
Never try to baptize a cat. * Eileen, 8 |
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| Kids - Question: HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? |
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. * Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. * Kirsten, age 10 |
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| Kids - Question: WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? |
Both don't want any more kids. * Lori, age 8 |
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| Kids - Question: WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? |
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. * Lynnette, age 9
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. * Martin, age 10 |
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| Kids - Question: WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR? |
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. * Craig, age 9 |
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| Kids - Question: WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? |
When they're rich. * Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. * Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. * Howard, age 8 |
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| Kids - Question: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? |
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. * Anita, age 9 |
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| Kids - Question:HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? |
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? * Kelvin, age 8 |
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| Kids - Question:HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? |
Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck. * Ricky, age 10 |
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| The Cat |
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive. "Dead." She was informed. "How do you know?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in his ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?" the teacher squealed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'pssst' and he didn't move." |
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| The Whale |
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because, even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it is physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him". |
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